My 2 Cents #2: Creativity & Mortality

Recently, artists JP Morgan and Clement Suave passed away, and I've been reading spending a lot of time on DeviantART reading the journals and comments expressing their condolances. But what keeps catching my attention are the memories that other artists continue to share about him. This really showed me how much of a sense of community the Art Industry- whether it be comics, animation, fine art, graphic design, etc- has built over the years. Even here at Emporia State University, the Art Department takes leaps and bounds forward to bring the entire body of art majors together as one big family. The way that we can all sit together in Art Forum and laugh and socialize, and then the way we all marvel at the works of the various artists who come in to share their work and experiences with us, it makes me realize how much I love what I do, and what I hope to achieve in the future.

I first heard the news from LeSean Thomas on Facebook, and then later I heard it from Alex Garner and comic colorist Blond on DeviantART. It made me realize how often people in this industry whom fans like us often see as simple- yet idolized- individuals have worked together and interacted, even befriended, each other. The Art Industry isn't just about creativity, but about a mutual respect for people who find new and creative ways to do what we do, because it's what we all strive for in everything we do.

Both JP and Clement will be sorely missed, just like figures such as Michael Turner and Mike Weiringo were before them. But I have a feeling in my gut that if they had any inkling about how strong an effect they've had on their peers, and in hopeful young creativists like me, they'll be looking down on us now with pride and fulfillment. 

My 2 Cents #1: A Guy's Perspective

I'm not sure why, but a lot of girls actually do seem to come to me asking for advice "from a guy's perspective." As if, somehow, we're complicated. Ladies, the fact of the matter is, we're not. Hell, a lot of women are only complicated because they choose to be. Sure, we're not all black and white, but too many people focus on all the unimportant little details. If you want to understand a guy, here's the way to go about it:

1. Ask him.

Yep. it's as easy as that. Stop trying so damn hard to try to get in their head. Ask somebody how they feel about something. If you don't think you can trust them to be honest about their own feelings, then maybe you shouldn't care about what they're feeling so much. But the fact is, few people really have a reason to hide how they really feel. This isn't some TV drama, people. If a guy likes a girl, he may be too nervous to go up to her and tell her, sure. But if a girl is curious if a guy likes her, she really can just walk up to him and ask "So, are you into me?" If he is, hell yes he's gonna tell you! If he isn't, He's not going to let you think he is.

All men aren't pigs. In fact, most of us aren't. Women just always remember douchebags longer than they do decent guys. So please, girls. Don't overthink it. Just come right out and face it. It's a lot more painless than the alternative.

(The below is a conversation that spawned from one of my readers. I've removed their name in order to respect their privacy)

Reader: And when a girl asks "Why can we not have guy friends but guys can have girl friends" the answer is? 

Me: The answer is? Whatever dude expects that out of you is way too insecure for his own good. Put your foot down and tell him "I'm going to have my friends, and you are going to have your friends, and gender isn't going to matter one way or the other." He's nervous that some dude you'll be hanging out with will make a move on you, and he's even more nervous that you might notice and like it. If he trusts you, and if you've given him real reason to believe that you're with him and him alone, he won't make any stipulations about who you hang out with. And if he does? Maybe you're with the wrong guy.

Reader: And your book is being published when?

Me: Lol do I sense sarcasm?

Reader: More of a "damn I hate when he is always flippin right" kind of sarcasm lol. In all honesty most girls do know the things you have stated we just chose to believe otherwise. Sometimes we like to think guys will change bcuz most of us would do it for them in a heartbeat.

Me: Oh, guys will change. We're not as set in our ways as people think. We just have to believe in why we're changing. Plus, a lot of guys may not realize how willing a girl would be to change for him. Which is maybe something that should be communicated when that point comes. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in a relationship is Two-Way, and that's how a guy is going to see it. They aren't going to do something that they don't believe you'd be willing to do as well.

Reader: ‎...I'm sure the whole I think I have a "special" exception to your point of views is a little cliche at the moment but it is how I feel. Ya know the whole "I don't wanna be with you but I don't want you to be with someone else either" scenario? Why are guys like that?

Me: This is going to start out sounding insanely dickish, but nobody has a "special exception" when it comes to stuff like this. As for the whole scenario with "I don't wanna be with you but" etc etc, not all guys ARE like that. The ones that are, though, could have any number of reasons for it. Really it depends on what they're looking for in a relationship. It's likely that, while they don't necessarily regret the decision to end things, they aren't entirely sure it was the right decision, if that makes any sense at all. They want to be out there and test the waters and see what else is out there, but they don't want to risk the chance of deciding that they want to come back to you, only to have missed their chance completely. Again, that's where you need to put your foot down and let them know that you have better things to do than put your life on hold while they're out doing what THEY want to do.